Looking For The Sun
by The Dead Night
Summary: His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. Hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe in time they would earn his forgiveness. Either way, he didn't think he could ever see them in the same light again.
1. Chapter 1

**Looking For The Sun**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Bleach and it's characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

**Summary: His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. Hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe in time they would earn his forgiveness. Either way, he didn't think he could ever see them in the same light again.  
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Skyscrapers, they were everywhere. The gleaming buildings rose high into the sky as the young man gazed ahead, lost in thought. White, fluffy clouds traveled downward, a grey edge barely forming. In a city of blue and white everything blended together. Only a mass of bright orange hair stood out. Blank, honey brown eyes suddenly blinked. Their owner sighed as he looked at the window below him. His reflection stared back, a scowl g his only outward emotion. He was nervous, he couldn't deny it. The frosty wind that blew against him was proof. Everyone had given him a piece of their powers. Rukia was the one to deliver them. That was five days ago, and never once did he hear a whisper from his inner world. Were they still there? Were they mad? Or even worse, did he kill them? A cold chill pierced the boy's chest at the thought. His hand rubbed his chest in a vain attempt to make the cold go away. There was only one way to find out. To either confirm his fears or dash them away.

"Z-Zangetsu?" The orange haired boy called out. He didn't shout, in fact it was just above a whisper. The teen's scowl deepened as he heard his voice, it was pathetic.

Steeling his nerves he took in a shaky breath and called out once more.

"ZANGETSU!" That was better, he deemed. Butterflies rose to his chest, his teeth clenched and a spark of panic ignited. There was no answer.

"No…" He whispered. He brought his hand up and tightly gripped the sword on his back. His fingers traced the fabric as he thought. Maybe he wasn't yelling loud enough? Yeah, that had to be it. As he released his sword he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted once more.

"ZANGETSU!" His voice echoed around the buildings taking it far. Still no answer. Teeth clenched as he began to run, faster and faster. He pushed himself further and further as he searched the endless world. Cold wind whipped his hair back, droplets of rain began to fall. Harder and harder the rain hit. It was full of pain and agony, all the things he could never hope getting rid of. No, no, no, no. The boy repeated. It couldn't be happening, he couldn't lose them too. After that thought, he suddenly stopped. His head was bowed and his mouth was set into a thin line. The storm suddenly froze, the howling winds died down and the rain turned into a drizzle. What if he already lost them? The rain began again, harder then ever before. The winds forced to boy onto the ground, that or fly off the building.

His companions were gone. His sword and hollow. Maybe the weight on his back was nothing more then a that. A dead weight. Maybe no spirit resided in it now. With clenched fists he drew his hand back and punched through the class. The crimson blood did nothing to sooth his anger, his regret. In the end he couldn't protect them, he was the one to kill them. The one who didn't think of the consequences.

**"Never regret."**

The orange haired boy froze. They were Zangetsu's words. Slowly he lifted his head and glanced around. No one. His eyes drooped back to the floor in front of him. He was still alone. Never regret huh? A bitter laugh escaped his lips. How could he not?

**"Move forward."**

What was the point of hearing all these things now? What could he change? Nothing, he could change nothing. By now the boy was soaked. The rain reached deep into his bones, so did his pain. Bright locks of orange hair clung to his forehead. His fists clenched. Tears threatened to spill, he wouldn't let them fall. He refused. Instead he chose to bury the pain and live with it. Keeping it just under the surface forever.

**"Ichigo,"**

That voice, he wished it would stop. He wished it would stop giving him false hope. Even though he knew what he would see, he still looked up. When he did, he froze.

A stern face looked down at him, angrier then he had ever seen it before. His black coat blew violently in the winds. His figure was dripping wet.

**"Tell me Ichigo, why do you ****despair?" **

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**OK guys, my first Bleach fic. I have done other FanFics, I actually have another account. But as of right now my fans won't let me post this because they Don't like/know what Bleach is all that much. My other account if for PJO.**

**This fic is also up on my DeviantArt account. So if you usee it, Don't panic. It's not stolen. Well, my name there is EpicNight, so if you see it under anyone else's (? Is that a word?) please tell me!.  
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**Remember to review or I won't update!  
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**Oh and the chapters WILL get longer. I just make short 1st chapters to see if anyone seems interested...  
**


	2. The Golden Blade

**Looking for The Sun  
**

**Chapter 2: The Golden Blade**

**Summary: His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. Hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe in time they would earn his forgiveness. Either way, he didn't think he could ever see them in the same light again.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Bleach an it's characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

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Wide honey brown eyes were fixed on the figure. The storm was still, it did not die away. Instead it was as if time itself had frozen. Glistening drops of water hung in midair. No words were spoken between the two, nothing could be said.

**"Answer me Ichigo."**Zangetsu looked down at his wielder with unhidden anger, his glasses casting a harsh glare of light.

"Z-Zan…" The orange haired boy trailed off, his eyes full of surprise. "Zangetsu," He breathed out. Numbly he stood, it felt as if his legs were missing. Never once did he let his gaze wonder away from his zanpakuto. This could all be a fleeting dream, one that would slip away if he dared to look anywhere else. Even if he did want to tear his gaze away, there was no way he could.

**"Ichigo!"**said boy blinked and in the instant he opened his eyes Zangetsu stood mere inches from his face.

**"Retreat and you will age! Hesitate and you WILL die! Cast off your fears! I am here Ichigo! What is there to fear?"**Zangetsu's voice rose until he was shouting. Light blue eyes filled with anger, an emotion Ichigo hoped he never saw in the man's eyes.

"I-I…," Ichigo sucked in a hesitant breath. He couldn't bring himself to tell him. His voice wouldn't allow it. Without a word the young teenager wrapped his arms tightly around the sword spirit. His teeth and eyes were clenched shut as he tightly gripped the black coat.

"Zangetsu, I'm so sorry." He whispered. Zangetsu was still as he let his wielder embrace him, sometimes even he forgot his young age.

**"There is nothing to be sorry for Ichigo,"**As Zangetsu spoke he brought his hand up and gently placed it on Ichigo's head. The orange haired boy grumbled as his zanpakuto ruffled his hair.

"Damn it1 don't treat me like a little kid!" He muttered out as he stepped away from him. Zangetsu simply nodded with a slight sad smile on his face.

**_"Well ain't that sweet?"_**A voice called out behind Ichigo. With a final reassuring glance from the sword spirit Ichigo turned around. His bleached copy was leaning heavily on his sword, a wide grin spread across his face.

**_ "What, don't I get a hug?"_**He snickered. Ichigo gritted his teeth but began to move forward again. His bleached double immediately stopped laughing. Ichigo was now a mere two feet away. Hesitantly, he stretched out his hand. An offer.

"I'm sorry." He simply spoke, and he did mean it. Different emotions flashed through his doppelganger's eyes only to settle on the one Ichigo hoped he could avoid. Rage.

**_"Sorry,"_**He repeated. **_ "SORRY! Do you think you can just walk back in here an apologize for us!"_**Confusion flickered across Ichigo's face. He didn't have time to ponder what his hollow meant. Instead he found himself sailing through the air and crashing into one of the buildings. Shards of glass rained down, he could just barely make out his hollows and Zangetsu's figures before they disappeared. A new figure suddenly emerged yet he couldn't see any details. Blood was now dripping into his eyes as he struggled to get up.

**_"Bankai!"_**Ichigo's eyes widened in shock as he struggled to stand up. He had let his guard down and now he was paying for it. As soon as he had managed to stand he was forced back into another wall. Hands were tightly gripping his shoulders as they kept him against the wall. Honey brown eyes met a pair of mismatched blue and gold. His hollow and zanpakuto were one once again.

Ichigo swallowed the lump in his throat as he held their gaze. He felt the fists around him tightening, in one quick movement he was pulled and slammed back into the wall. The force of the hit knocked his breath out, he could hardely make out what Tensa was trying to say, or was it his hollow?

**"Don't apologize to us Ichigo! We're the ones who failed you! In the end, we still couldn't protect you!"**Ichigo's eyes widened as realization dawned on him. They had once told him what they wanted to protect was not the same as what he wanted to protect.

**"We're the ones that should be apologizing, we're the ones that are sorry."**The orange haired boy stared into the mismatched eyes with the only thing he could offer. Comfort.

"Retreat and you will age." He whispered. The hands on his shoulders stiffened slightly but soon relaxed. A chuckle escaped Tensa's lips as he loosened his hold.

**"Hesitate and you will die."**In that moment they understood each other. The storm that was now a drizzle soon faded, the cold gusts of wind died down.  
"It was nice seeing you again Zan and…" Ichigo trailed off, not sure what to call his other self.

**"Shiro, call me Shiro."**Ichigo raised a single brow at the name but said nothing more. It wasn't like he had any better ideas. The combined form of Zangetsu and Shiro suddenly narrowed their eyes.

**"Ichigo, no matter what you do, when you wake up don't move an inch."**Confused brown eyes blinked but the boy nodded anyways.

**"Good, now go Ichigo!"**there was a tone of urgency in their voice as they spoke, one that could not be denied. As they watched their wielder dissolve into mist they couldn't help but clench their fists in anger.

They had failed him again.

As Ichigo felt himself return to the world he felt a slight weight on his chest. Doing as instructed he made no move. A gust of wind blew into his room and a slight prick of panic nudged at him. He had left his window closed. Slowly he opened his eyes only to have them fly open in shock. A golden dagger like tip was at his chest. Soi Fong was crouched, balancing on his bed. Her eyes seemed full of conflict. Waves of reiatsu clashed outside. Ichigo figured if he could feel it, they must be strong. Cautiously he glanced down and tensed.

A black butterfly like shape was already on his chest. Another prick of panic nudged him but he forced it down. It would be no help in this situation.

"Soi Fong! Do it already! I can't keep them back any longer!" Ichigo recognized the voice as it shouted from outside. He knew that voice, who it belonged to was a different story. The captain of the second squad snapped out of her thoughts.

"Sting all enemies to death Suzumebachi!" As the orange haired boy watched the golden blade descend, he mentally cursed himself for being so weak in his human body.

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**I got one review and I thank the one who reviewed deeply. I got a bunch of visitor but one review. WTF! I don't need you to type out the bible people. Just one word is good enough!**

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	3. Not Enough Info

**Looking for The Sun  
**

**Chapter 3: Not Enough Info  
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**Summary: His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. Hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe in time they would earn his forgiveness. Either way, he didn't think he could ever see them in the same light again.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Bleach an it's characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

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Cool air whipped across Ichigo's face as he slowly began to regain consciousness. His eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as he felt his clothes flow wildly around him. A sudden shiver ran through his body, and by instinct he huddled closer the the warmth on his right. Brown eyes suddenly snapped open as he processed the fact that he wasn't in his room. Someone was holding him. The orange haired boy immediately started to struggle and try to escape whoever was holding him. He wasn't 5.

"Calm down Ichigo! We have no time for this! They're right behind us!" And Ichigo did freeze. With a glance up he could only see a shadowy figure, a strange hat-like shape on his wielder's head.

"Urahara-san?" Ichigo questioned with squinted eyes, trying to see passed the shadows. A gleaming smile was suddenly thrown at him.

"The one and only!" Instead of being relieved Ichigo's scowl deepened as he began to struggle once more.

"Put me down you pervert!" Before Urahara had time to explain an explosion hit the blond's left side and they were sent spiraling downward. As Ichigo fell he could clearly see they were nowhere near the ground, instead they were hundreds of feet above the air.

"Shit!" Was his first thought as he tried to gather spirit particles under his feet to steady himself. What the hell was going on? As Ichigo tried to gather his thoughts his footing became solid. He now stood about one hundred feet in the air above karakura town, a thoughtful look on his face. the last thing he remembered was... A flash of gold. Ichigo's eyes widened in horror as his brain began to connect the dots. Glancing down he realized he was in his Shinigami uniform and his blood ran cold. He never switched out of his body, and the flash of gold... A blade.

In an instant blue and red reiatsu rose in swirls, an orange haired boy in the middle of it. The figures in the shadows that had been watching slowly fell to their knees as the weight of Ichigo's power fell upon them. Only a single figure stood, her eyes narrowed. A golden blade at her side still dripped fresh blood. Without another thought she flashed right in front of the boy, her body slightly tensed. Angry honey brown eyes turned to the short woman. Her captain's coat fluttering in the winds that were produced from the massive reiatsu.

"You killed me." It wasn't a question, just a simple fact. Without missing a beat the captain of the second squad nodded. A pang of hurt ran through Ichigo's body as he saw her emotionless face. Something still ran deeper, betrayal.

"You need to come with me Kurasaki, your father and sisters are-" Soi fong didn't get a chance to finish her sentence as a sword suddenly came down on her. An ice barrier formed blocking the strike and she looked down to see captain Hitsugaya give her a simple nod. The ice suddenly cracked and the massive sword continued it's assault, but this time she was ready. Soi Fong raised her stinger to block the zanpakuto that would've cut her clean in half. What she felt startled he so much that she momentarily froze.

Pure rage.

His sword held a murderous intent as it continued to clash against hers. The sound of a crack echoed throughout the battlefield to the town below. Soi Fong's eyes widened as she saw the cracks begin to form in her blade. For the first time she looked up and met Ichigo's eyes. Fire burned deeply within them, a hate so strong it could have killed with that single look. But she was a captain, she wouldn't die so easily. Still, she couldn't help the shiver of fear that ran down her spine as Suzumebachi suddenly shattered. Instinct then took over. she dodged to her left and did a one handed back flip to make space between the two.

"Where's my family!" The boy shouted. Soi Fong froze, so that's what it's about.

"Your family is safe!" She called out, making a mental note to mention that first if she were to ever talk about his family. She could visibly see the orange haired teen relax as his eyes filled with relief. His wild reiatsu soon began calming down. That was a good sign, now she could continue.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, captain-commander Yamamoto has requested your presence immediately."

"No." Soi Fong blinked and gritted her teeth in anger.

"You don't have a choice!" She pressed while taking a defensive stance. "You may come by free will or force, either way you are going!"

"And what makes you think we'll let you take him?" A new voice spoke. The short woman whirled around and narrowed her eyes.

"Urahara, you wouldn't dare interfear with the soul Society."

"And what makes you think that _captain?_" The green clad man spoke coolly, his eyes shadowed under his hat as he brought his fan up to cover his face. The petite captain simply glared at the ridiculous man.

"If I may ask, exactly why would captain-commander request Ichi-kun's presence. And why kill him in the first place?"

"That is none of your concern!" She spat.

"I see," he murmured. "Yoruichi!" He called out louder. There was a blur of purple as the Goddess of Flash appeared between herself and Ichigo. Yoruichi took a glance behind her smirked.

"Well you're relatively calm for someone who just died, or should I say got murdered?" On the last word Yoruichi's golden eyes bore into Soi Fongs.

"Shut up!" The cat woman herd the orange haired boy say behind her, she paid it no mind.

"I never know I was training a murderer Soi Fong." The captain flinched at her remark.

"Everyone who has ever fought someone to the death is a murderer lady Yoruichi." Soi Fong tried to defend.

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. When you enter battle you know the consequences, the risk. Trying to get a good night's sleep however..." Urahara trailed off.

"Enough of this, we simply wish to follow our orders." Hitsugaya who had been quiet throughout the entire exchange took a step forward. He was now ten feet from Soi Fong, close enough to help her out if needed and also within attacking distance for the others.

"He's right," Ichigo spoke as he stepped forward. "I've had enough of this, why did you kill me?" His voice was steel and his glare only made the other two captains slightly nervous. Hitsugaya shifted his gaze away from the boy and didn't say a word. The air around him grew cooler as he avoided looking into those angry eyes. With a quick glance at her companion Soi Fong steeled her nerves.

"We don't know, but it was an order from the new central 46. Just to kill your human body, when we asked why they didn't say."

"So you follow orders blindly." Urahara cut in.

"We have no choice!" The small woman snapped.

"We did have a choice, and we choose Soi Fong." Hitsugaya murmured, his fists clenching.

"Feeling guilty frosty-kun?" Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched in anger at the nickname, yet he couldn't bring himself to be mad. what the man said was true.

"I'll go with you." Ichigo stated immediately drawing in everybody's attention. "I'll only go on two conditions though." He continued. Soi Fong narrowed her eyes further but Hitsugaya simply nodded.

"One is to leave my family out of this, I don't care if your ordered to be anywhere near them. Stay away." The orange haired boy's cool eyes swept over the two captains with a promise of pain if they were to disobey.

"Now tell me why you two were sent after me and not any others." Ichigo continued. that question drew in Urahara's question as he saw Hitsugaya fidget slightly before mentally scolding himself.

"They were never told because central 46 knew they would refuse." Soi Fong stated. That answer seemed to satisfy both Urahara and Ichigo. With a nod at Yoruichi, Urahara began walking away, over his shoulder he spoke once more.

"You better hope he stays safe for your sakes..." He let the threat hang in the air as he flashed away. A slight smile played on Yoruichi's lips. She knew he cared more then he dared to admit. A flash of light come from her left and she sighed as she turned around to walk towards the Senkaimon gate. Captain Hitsugaya had already gone through, now it was just Soi Fong, Ichigo and herself.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing Ichigo? They killed you." narrowed golden eyes stared at the young man in front of her.

"No, I don't." With those final words Ichigo entered the Senkaimon and Soi Fong followed immediatly after. Just as the purple haired woman was about to do the same she froze.

"Take care of him, please."

Yoroichi continued forward, and without turning around she simply nodded to the man behind her as the gates slowly closed.

"Sure thing Isshin"

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**Yay! An Update! I actually got two more reviews then needed so I was all 'what the hell' and just wrote this chapter for you guys.**

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	4. Sometimes, there really is no choice

**Looking For The Sun**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot. Bleach and it's characters belong to Tite Kubo.**

**Summary: His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. His life was ripped away in an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. Hopes and dreams shattered. Maybe in time they would earn his forgiveness. Either way, he didn't think he could ever see them in the same light again.  
**

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The Captain Commander's cold, calculative eyes gazed at Ichigo as said teen glared down at him. There was a tense silence in the room as the assembled captains could only wonder what happened. All but two. They could all feel the orange haired teen's reiatsu lash around wildly as it was filled with with a cold under-layer of anger. As the silence continued to stretch the stare-down never died down. Finally one of the captains spoke, but none of them expected it to be Ukitake to interfere. "Why don't we all wind down a bit, what seems to be the problem?" His kind voice shattered the silence, Ichigo froze and redirected his glare towards the white haired man. "I'm dead." He then looked back at the old man, as if that answer was enough. "Dead?" Shunsui repeated as he tipped his straw hat back. A grumbling laughter filled the room as Kenpachi tilted his head back and roared in laughter. A wild grin spread across his face as he twisted his head back around to look at Ichigo. "How was the fight? I'm sure you didn't let them get away with it huh?" Ichigo didn't say anything, he just simply clenched his hands into fists as he glared at the old man in front of him.

"Enough Kenpachi," Captain Hitsugaya's cold voice filled the room, his gaze away from the orange haired teen. A scoff escaped Ichigo's mouth as he finally fully turned around to face the captains. "Why? Is it so that way he can't ask about how I was murdered?" The word caused several eyes to widen around the two lines. "Murdered..." Ukitake whispered with furrowed brows. "Yes, murdered. Is this how you all repay a debt?" Yoruichi spoke as she came to the center of the room, slinking out the shadows. Her yellow eyes were fierce as she stood next to Ichigo in a slightly protective position. "If it were up to me, I would have made Ichigo stay in the human world and away from scum like you. Her eyes narrowed as she turned around and glared at Yamamoto. "Now tell me, what was the reason you sent Soi Fong and Hitsugaya to kill Ichigo." Unohana's ever present smile melted off her face as she stared at the two before her. By that time all the captains had their eyes locked onto Ichigo or Yamamoto. It just didn't seem real, surely there was some sort of mistake. "It was necessary," Yamamoto began; at the same time he crushed some of the captains hopes of all this being a terrible misunderstanding.

Shunsui removed the straw hat from his head as he stared at his mentor with widened eyes. "What could have possibly made murder necessary?" In that instant everyone had their eyes trained on the head captain. The old man remained silent, his reiatsu tightly coiled in so his mood could not be read. "An order from the central 46. They themselves had no choice, neither did I." Soi Fong glared at the floor as her hands coiled into fists, Hitsugaya's words fluttering through her mind. "There's always a choice," she muttered refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Ichigo scoffed as he glanced at the captain. "Should have thought about it before then." Ukitake spared Ichigo a worried glance before he turned back towards his mentor. "You have defied the central 46 before, surely you could have done it again. Ichigo has done so much for us, has he not?" The white haired man let the question hang as others contemplated his choice of words. The captain commander opened his eyes so he could look directly at the teen that stood before him, completely ignoring the purple haired women next to him. "Even the central 46 and I have orders we must obey. We cannot refuse the king." Several pairs of eyes widened at the announcement. The captains were left with a look of bafflement across their faces as they stared openly at their leader.

"The king..." Shunsui whispered out, his gaze locking onto a wide-eyed Ichigo. "But why would the king wish for Ichigo to be killed...?" It was the very same question that was running through Yoruichi's mind as she gave a sideways glanced at the orange haired teen beside her. This could only be a small detail of a larger plan. Her eyes snapped back to the old captain as he reached within his sleeve for something. "I was under strict instruction to open this and read it as soon as Kurosaki was brought here, and only then." Yamamoto pulled a golden tube with carved designs from his sleeve. His weathered hand glowed a soft blue as a muttered a Kido under his breath. From the ends of the cylinder, two lids popped off and clanged onto the floor. The golden tube uncoiled and in the head captain's hands was a long golden, flexible sheet. His eyes skimmed over the golden paper as a tense silence settled in the room once more. An inaudible sigh left the old man's lips as he handed the scroll over to Yoruichi who he knew would be eager to read it as well. "As a demand from the king himself, Ichigo Kurosaki is to join the Shinigami academy and immediately after graduation join the Gotei 13 as captain of the 5th. Failure to cooperate will lead to severe consequences."

Hitsugaya bowed his head as the last of the lines were read. The orange haired teen clenched his fists tightly, small beads of blood flowed down his fingers as he spoke through clenched teeth. "Do you honestly believe I would agree? I don't gave a damn about what you do to me! You could hunt me for the rest of my life if I care! Ther-" "Enough Ichigo!" The purple haired women interrupted. The golden paper was balled in one of her hands, her eyes fierce as she glared at the head captain. "You know I would help you to the very end, but Ichigo, there is nothing we can do in this situation. Even we are not strong enough to take on the king's royal guard..." Ichigo scoffed as he glanced at Yoruichi. "I would rather die fighting then!"

"They know that Ichigo!" Yoruichi shouted as she whirled around to face the stunned teen face on. "There are others who cannot protect themselves, these are the people they will go after. The king already has guards on duty watching them! Will you be able to live with yourself if your actions caused the death of your friends? Your sisters?" In an instant Ichigo's stifling reiatsu filled the room, his eyes glowing a soft blue. "They wouldn't dare..." Yoruichi's tense, unwavering expression told him otherwise. With a snarl, Ichigo flash stepped out of the large room, ripping the doors off the hinges as he left behind a group of equally stunned and furious captains.

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**Sorry for any grammatical errors, I tried hunting them down but there might still be a few. And I won't use the '-san, or -kun" at the end of names cause I would probably fuck it up royally.**

**10 reviews and I update! Sorry this took so long too, school dropped a shit load of things on me out of nowhere. Hope you enjoyed it!  
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